Going it Alone?

How do people go it alone? How does an individual or a family make it through trials and struggles without extended family and/or friends to help them carry the weight and strain. How does an individual or a family make it through without faith in God and his power?

I cannot imagine what life would be like without faith in God. I cannot imagine suffering alone without family, without friends to hold me up. And when those friends have similar faith in God, similar beliefs in the Almighty, and make themselves available to comfort and support, peace comes.

Trials will come, and with them much pain. Yet the one who promises the peace that passes understanding is available and alive and holds all things together, especially us. God bless those who extend themselves to comfort others. Because of God and their faith in him and their acts of love, life becomes less a burden and more a joy.

More God, More Pain?

My interaction with God has increased since the beginning of the year. I've spent more time in prayer and more time in His Word and more time reading spiritual literature than ever before. I've had more "God discussions" in the past year than ever before. I've thought more about God -- who God is, what God wants, where God lives, how God might think, how God came to be -- than ever before. I've asked more questions of God in the past year -- what's the deal with free will? do you learn? how do you feel pain? what brings you to action? do you laugh? -- than ever before.

It also seems that I am now challenged more, tempted more, and feel more vulnerable.

Now, more than ever before, I have reason to spend even more time in prayer, more time in his word, more time in "God discussions," more time thinking about God and more time asking God questions.

My latest question to God: Is it true that the more time we spend with you, the more pain we can endure and therefore more pain comes our way?

Growing Up

Today I became angry, very angry. I was watching one of my children's basketball games. Before I knew it, I was screaming my head off and getting the attention of both my spectator daughter and spectator wife -- attention I did not want. My anger continued as I attempted to wriggle out of being resposible for my actions.

I remained defiant about my behavior, justified it and didn't back off until two hours later. I didn't like what I did, either the yelling or the justification of it. I'm trying to understand both the outburst and the silly stance afterward. I think the first was passion, the second immaturity. The first was in the moment, the second was out of bounds. The first would have been forgivable if not for the follow up prideful posture.

I need to grow up.

Slow Down Discipline

At what point am I allowed to give less than my best? If I'm tired, do I get a break? If I'm depressed, can I slack off? Who says what is my best anyway? Sometimes, when I think I'm giving less than my all, people tell me, unsolicited, that I'm doing good things. Other times it seems when I'm giving it all I've got, I get the most criticism. So why not just give enough rather than all I'm capable of, especially if enough is good enough?

I don't like giving or being just enough or even less than my best because it lessens what I've been made to do, as well as letting down the one who made me. I find myself most tired, most bummed when I'm doing a bunch of things that don't matter, when I'm being less than that for which I was created. To do that for which I was created requires some discipline -- actually a lot of discipline. Most of the time, I don't have the discipline required.

Most likely then, most of the time, I'm giving less than my best. I don't like this one bit. So, I'm trying to slow down and more fully understand who God has made me to be and what my purpose is. I'm trying to be more intentional to what I say "yes" to. And I'm seeking God's presence more to remain in tune with him rather than in tune with me. All of this is hard, because it takes discipline, discipline I don't have. So, I'm trying to slow down and , , ,