Today I became angry, very angry. I was watching one of my children's basketball games. Before I knew it, I was screaming my head off and getting the attention of both my spectator daughter and spectator wife -- attention I did not want. My anger continued as I attempted to wriggle out of being resposible for my actions.
I remained defiant about my behavior, justified it and didn't back off until two hours later. I didn't like what I did, either the yelling or the justification of it. I'm trying to understand both the outburst and the silly stance afterward. I think the first was passion, the second immaturity. The first was in the moment, the second was out of bounds. The first would have been forgivable if not for the follow up prideful posture.
I need to grow up.
2 comments:
We went through that same thing when Ashley first started playing basketball and volleyball. There is something about those games that bring out the momma and daddy claws in you. Even though things may not be directly involving your child, it's your child's team and I think you kind of feel the need to protect what's yours. At least that is my experience. I'm not saying it was right, or pretty, in fact in got kind of ugly at times. It took us a little while, but we did learned that when you hold your tongue, at least to a very mild roar :), you actually enjoy the game a whole lot more. Sounds like you're already learning that.
In the first inning of last night's softball game, a guy rounded first (tightly) on a single and decided to run me over. The play was over, he had no feasible chance of making second, but he chose to prove some point and plow me.
We had a few words but as the game proceeded my anger grew. I went 0-4 at the plate and we lost 12 - 6.
I relate to your words. Anger rarely pays dividends and when it does, it is surrounded by a barrier of righteousness.
Co-strugglers, my brother. Thanks for your clarity and honesty.
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